Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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