But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
