Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i think i have herpe
just one?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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