i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I have aggressive nipples.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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