In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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