My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
