We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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