Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
