Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
