yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I think we might need a safe word for this...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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