can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize