fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
dude i'm inner monologue high
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
