I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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