YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
