He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
