I want to stick my p in your. b.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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