I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
