she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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