you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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