Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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