You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
