how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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