Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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