your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I've blown a few things in my day
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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