sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
