he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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