Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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