Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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