Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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