No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
