Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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