drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
