Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
