I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My life is pants optional.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
