Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
