Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
