its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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