I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
