So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
