I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
