I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
