He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Send help, water and tortillas.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
