Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
