yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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