How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
