hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
