upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
