I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
