Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
So apparently I’m into choking now
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
