Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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